Ye Old Skwib | Page 201

Professor Quippy: How not to drum up support for controlling greenhouse gas emissions

By Mark A. Rayner on April 9, 2007 in Odd Science

Professor Quippy Explain that global warming will reduce the amount of snow that Canadians will have to shovel.

The Globe and Mail got its hands on the latest report on the impacts of global warming from the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC), and they’re reporting that by 2050, people will no longer be able to go snowmobiling (ironically a cause of global warming).

Now, you might think that’s not the end of the world — but what about Californian wines? They will be unable to grow grapes in the California of 2050, so enjoy that pinot now while you can.

Still, no snow shoveling. That’s good. I’m not excited about the 50 percent increase in ragweed pollen, nor the swarms of Lyme Disease-riddled ticks, but no snow shoveling.

No skiing, tobogganing, pond hockey, or White Christmases either. But no snow shoveling. Hey!

Mop and Pail story here.

Easter O-Rama!

By Mark A. Rayner on April 8, 2007 in General Skwib

Hoppy day all. First a few carnivals:

Insanities!
60-days Still Fresh!
Cinema

Ellison punny. He has a seasonal 100-word story about The Other Rabbit.

Cthulu veggie, courtesy of Rev. Bob’s weekend “woots”

Overheard in the editorial offices of the London Wee Press

By Mark A. Rayner on April 5, 2007 in Monkeys!

Hugh Laurie as “Doug, Doug. You won’t believe this . . . Oh my god, I’m so excited. House (actor Hugh Laurie) just said the words “London, Ontario”. Isn’t that exciting?”

“It’s like, London, Ontario exists! We’re on Network TV.”

“American Network TV.”

“Yes, and House is a popular program too!”

“Hey, when was the last time London, Ontario was mentioned on American Network TV?”

“I don’t know, Bob. A long time? Never?”

“This is so exciting, we should do a story about it!”

“Yes… yes!”

“And then let’s put it on the front page.”

“Doug, I think I just peed myself with excitement.”

“I wish I’d just peed myself. You don’t think anyone will notice that it’s, you know, not real news, do you?”

The Carnival of Satire (#71)

By Mark A. Rayner on April 5, 2007 in Carnival of Satire

Welcome to the Carnival of Satire, now running every other week! (Until it isn’t). To start with, we have some interesting problem-solving on how to deal with climate change:

Yep, Ferdinand T. Cat thinks It’s Time to Do Something About Global Warming and he has a squirrelly solution.

Remulak MoxArgon has a much less nuanced answer in Global Warming: Finally A Final Solution.

Madeleine Begun Kane has a duo of limericks for your edification and entertainment: Running from Mistakes and Chafing At “Chick”.

Speaking of chicks, Lauren at TRA LA LA has pointers for how to deal with Public Enemy Number 1: Girl Scouts.

Ahistoricality has found an template at Spinning Clio for How to Get Historians Riled Up.

Damian G. outlines an elaborate April Fools’ joke in which Congressional Democrats feign patriotism, resolve.

Sammy Benoit is just thrilled that Jimmy Carter New Book (okay, he’s being sarcastic.)

Vox Poplar presents These Things I Believe.

And though this doesn’t come from a blog, this clip from Robot Chicken is hilarious. Watch for the look between Emperor Palpatine’s freaky-looking lackeys when he calls Vader “my favourite Sith.”

Thanks to everyone for submitting their satire. If you submitted something, and it didn’t make it into the carnival, it’s not that we don’t appreciate your work, but we just felt it wasn’t right for the carnival. In fact many submissions were quite funny/interesting/entertaining, but not really satire. Defining that is a moving target, but you’ll find our take on it here, in an essay on Satire’s Ugly Sisters. Thanks to these fine folks for helping us with webby-stuff: the Blog Carnival for their form; and the listings at the Ubercarnival, and at the Blog Carnival too.