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The Devil’s Dictionary: The Skwib Updates: C

By on July 18, 2006 in But is it art?, General Skwib

The Devil's Dictionary: The Skwib UpdatesIt has been a hundred years since Ambrose Bierce first published his satirical classic, so we thought for the summer season, we would update a few terms to reflect the current state of our language.

C

CAT, n. A soft, indestructible automaton provided by nature to be kicked when things go wrong in the domestic circle.

This is a dog,
This is a cat.
This is a frog,
This is a rat.
Run, dog, mew, cat.
Jump, frog, gnaw, rat.
–Elevenson

The Skwib Update:

CAT, n. A superior and beauteous creature; if you own one, you should take pictures of it on an hourly basis and post them on the web.

The Carnival of Satire (#42)

By on July 13, 2006 in Carnival of Satire

The Carnival of SatireWelcome to the 42nd edition of The Carnival of Satire. Maybe it’s the heat, or maybe it’s the humidity, but for whatever reason, we seem to be less ironic than usual. So instead of running another edition next week, we’ll hold back until July 27th. Until then, check back at The Skwib for our continuing quest to update The Devil’s Dictionary.

Dr. Deborah Serani has discovered a new psychological disorder called Ringxiety.

Ahistoricality discovered the coverage of a news-conference you might want to know about, particularly if you are interested in the history of WWII, and Roosevelt: Rumsfeld arrives in Afghanistan; 30 Taliban killed (posted at The New Chainik Hocker.)

Kneon Transitt sees naked people in: Punxsutawney Phil. And nudists.. Continue Reading →

The Devil’s Dictionary: The Skwib Updates: B

By on July 12, 2006 in The Devil’s Updates

Devil's Dictionary -- BIt has been a hundred years since Ambrose Bierce first published his satirical classic (unfortunately as The Cynic’s Word Book, a title he did not choose), so we thought for the summer season, we would update a few terms to reflect the current state of our language.

B

BEAUTY, n. The power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.

The Skwib Update:

BEAUTY, n. A state that can be applied, surgically inserted, grafted or otherwise purchased, but which is nonetheless the most important human attribute.

A | B |

The Devil’s Dictionary: The Skwib Updates: A

By on July 11, 2006 in The Devil’s Updates

The Devil's Dictionary: The Skwib UpdatesIt has been a hundred years since Ambrose Bierce first published his satirical classic (unfortunately as The Cynic’s Word Book, a title he did not choose), so we thought for the summer season, we would update a few terms to reflect the current state of our language.

A

Ass, n. A public singer with a good voice but no ear. In Virginia City, Nevada, he is called the Washoe Canary, in Dakota, the Senator, and everywhere the Donkey. The animal is widely and variously celebrated in the literature, art and religion of every age and country; no other so engages and fires the human imagination as this noble vertebrate. Indeed, it is doubted by some (Ramasilus, lib. II., De Clem., and C. Stantatus, De Temperamente) if it is not a god; and as such we know it was worshiped by the Etruscans, and, if we may believe Macrobious, by the Cupasians also. Of the only two animals admitted into the Mahometan Paradise along with the souls of men, the ass that carried Balaam is one, the dog of the Seven Sleepers the other. This is no small distinction. From what has been written about this beast might be compiled a library of great splendor and magnitude, rivalling that of the Shakespearean cult, and that which clusters about the Bible. It may be said, generally, that all literature is more or less Asinine.

“Hail, holy Ass!” the quiring angels sing;
“Priest of Unreason, and of Discords King!”
Great co-Creator, let Thy glory shine:
God made all else, the Mule, the Mule is thine!”

The Skwib Update:

Ass, n. A fundamental part of the human anatomy.

Ass-, prefix forming nouns and adjectives, overtly colorful and/or meaningless: ass-face, ass-hat, ass-clown, etc.

A | B | C | D | E | F | G | H | I | J | K | L | M | N | O | P | Q | R | S | T | U | V | W | X | Y | Z

Original photo by: deefha, and you’ll have to ask him who the Praha tagger was.

The Carnival of Satire (#41)

By on July 6, 2006 in Carnival of Satire

The Carnival of Satire (#41)As we move into the silly season, here are a few morsels of satire to keep you sane. Enjoy!

Tommy at The Kag Report takes us to wonderland in A Press Conference On The Issues.

If you’re interested in non-verbal satire, then you will enjoy some of the photographs of strange statues from around the world, many of them just odd, but many satirical too.

Madeleine Begun Kane at has a little ditty worth noting: Bush Isn’t God. Who Knew?

Dr. Sanity has an exclusive of Osama doing his best Celine Dion impersonation in The Jihad Must Go On.
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