The Carnival of the Vanities is up this week, and ably hosted, by Free Money Finance. Will this be the last CoV ever? Who knows?
Then head over to Discovering Biology in a Digital World for a great edition of The Tangled Bank, which features a walking tour of Seattle this week.
And finally today, The Carnival of the Liberals at Pharyngula.
Okay, The Skwib has been outed. Over at Less People Less Idiots, they have created a thread advisory system for weblogs, ranging from “patriotic” to “extremist”. The Skwib has been given a ranking of “unbalanced”, which seems fair. In their words:
“Blogs with an Unbalanced rating are either serious security risks or the author is precariously close to forced admission to a mental asylum.”
Grumpy Old Bookman, who is anything but unbalanced, is also a fine if somewhat curmudgeonly book-blogger; and a novelist, who has just published his twelfth novel, HOW AND WHY LISA’S DAD GOT TO BE FAMOUS. He is releasing it chapter by chapter on his blog [start here], or you can download the pdf of it here.
A new addition to the blogroll is The Satirical Political Report, which is a pretty fair description. I enjoyed yesterday’s Presidential Scholars Scramble To Create New Categories For Bush
And yesterday also saw the Best of Me Symphony, hosted this week by Oscar Wilde, another writer who was outed, but in a much worse way.
My friend Martin Redfern is a professional research dude (yes that’s the official term) and has some fine reading available on this website in the form of surveys that he’s made public. I enjoyed The Tipping Point [pdf link] immensely, about how we behave as tippers. (There are some good pointers in there for anyone working as a waiter/waitress too.)
And after reading the news this morning and Don’s article, The top ten differences between Vietnam and Iraq, I wonder if the US is not reaching some kind of tipping point regarding their Prez? BTW, in the comments “Texas Jerry” had an eleventh difference: Bush had a plan for getting out of Vietnam.
Now, I know this new invention was created for a serious problem — autism — but let me tell you, I sincerely hope that a few of my colleagues can get themselves one too. You see, the device warns you if you’re boring or irritating. It especially needs to be standard issue for the following departments: law, business administration, comparative literature and culture. Oh, and computer science — for that group I would just have one surgically grafted to every graduating student.
In a perfect world, this apparatus would also be installed in every bar and cafe in the world. When a boring conversation occurs, it would automatically bleep a warning to the offending party, or parties. The device could be set for a variety of modes, which would turn the boring conversation into something quite entertaining; if the conversation does not become more interesting, then one of several things could happen:
God I love science!
More on the real Cliffy Siren here.
Having seen what can happen when you drift away from your mission (the debacle of the Carnival of the Vanities this week, for example) we have tried to keep to our goals by presenting only satire. Okay, a few posts are more satirical than actual satire, but we think we can make an argument for what’s included this week lively round-up. At any rate, we hope you will enjoy this week’s submissions:
We start with a beautiful parody; English professor jokes dressed up in the form of an episode of Law and Order: Special Academic Unit (many thanks to Ahistoricality for finding this!)
Dr. Tundra has kudos for Buckley F. Williams at The Nose On Your Face, who had to alert the CDC when he discovered that Syphilis caught a bad case of Paris Hilton.
Chris Alexion at Welcome to the Fallout has a fake news story for you, English: EPA To Crack Down on Amish Emissions.
Ahistoricality also found this gem: “Symmetrical Pubic Hair Results in Good Behavior Days? Please. You’re Spoiling Me, Sire!” posted in Frankie Can’t Relax.
Amanuensis continues to let us know how the first inter-species marriage is going in Honeymoon interrupted by summit.
While on the subject of history, Mensa Barbie at Mensa Barbie Welcomes You unveils the truth behind the masterpiece in The Oil Lift of Isabella d’ Este .
FORMOSA, Ontario (The Skwib) — This morning a Formosan mushroom farmer discovered that sometimes, old technology is the best technology.
“I was really surprised,” Marvin S. Heisthammer told The Skwib.
Normally, the resident of the quiet village in Bruce County uses the new Gillnette Octo (Ionization), but he had run out of both new cartridges and the fusion-powered ionization pumps that run the high-tech razor.
“I had an important business meeting to attend so I really needed to shave. So I used my wife’s razor, which is an old two-bladed model. She had lots of new blades, so I just threw one in there, and shaved with it,” Heisthammer said.
At first, he was afraid of what might happen, but as it turned out, the old technology turned out to be quite reliable.
“It worked, and I’ve got to be honest, I really can’t feel any difference between this shave and one with my fancy Octo,” he said, while stroking his chin in what The Skwib could only describe as an effeminate way.
“I told all the workers down at the farm, and they’re thinking about switching back.”
John Butler Hack, a spokesperson for the Gillnette corporation refused to comment on the efficacy of old two-bladed razors versus their newer eight-bladed ionization models. However, Hack did suggest that if all of Heisthammer’s workers at the mushroom farm started using their wives razors, he would “expect them all to be mincing around in the sh*t, real soon.”