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Fool-o-Rama!

By on April 1, 2006 in General Skwib

Hope everyone has had a wonderful time filling the sugar bowl with stevia extract and magnesium-hydroxide. Just make sure that you don’t use all the toilet paper when you decorate your neighbour’s car.

If you’re looking for more foolish things, may we suggest The Emily Chesley Reading Circle and on a somewhat related note, the Museum of Hoaxes, which has this charming (and blasphemous) explanation of the origins of this day.

Foolish carnivals:

Oh man, those Dutch are just too much!

By on March 31, 2006 in But is it art?

Babelfish translation of Chocochoque page:

Soon!
Nikkenpikken
Extra Long!

After the Dutch company has Buys the name change ‘ negerzoen ‘ in simply ‘ zoen ‘ came we let us decide of Chocochoque on the idea this of filling up vacuum with a daring new product. Especially for the Dutch market we now come with Nikkepikken. This delicacy seems on the negerzoen but is extra long! Therefore extra enjoy!

All we can say is that we hope that is a chocolate.

The Carnival of Satire (#27)

By on March 30, 2006 in Carnival of Satire

The Carnival of SatireGreetings comrades. Strangely, this is once again an extremely spiritual Carnival of Satire, though we were sad to see that Buddhism was not included in the religions represented. Come on people! Just because the religion is … like … all detached and filled with the such-ness of the moment, doesn’t mean we can’t satirize it. Think Bart Simpson and his answer to the question: “What is the sound of one hand clapping?”

Okay, we’re sure you’ll clap at least two hands for this week’s submissions:

Limerick Savant at limerick savant has a work of genius! It’s rare to find a limerick that not only doesn’t have the word “Nantucket” in it, but that also works on several levels at once. Chef’s return: a dish served cold.

Attention all doctors! Hobart T. Johnson at Hobart T. Johnson has unearthed a tome that you must read. A new Medical Textbook: Inject First, Ask Questions Later.

Amanuensis at Catymology tells us of the first group interspecies nuptials. For anyone with a cat, this might just strike a little too close to home.

Le centre at Centrerion wakes up to smell Osama and Coffee.

Harvey Bluedorn at Trivium Pursuit really tickled General Kang’s fancy with this Unfortunate Omission. You didn’t know that the general is greatly amused by our ancient history, did you?

AbbaGav at AbbaGav has cut through the bureaucracy and found the New Hamas Govt Employee Benefits Form.

Dean Swift at A Swiftian Rant gets all medieval on our buttocks in New Pope Steps Up. Continue Reading →

Dumbass Olympics: Australia vs. Canada

By on March 29, 2006 in General Skwib, Monkeys!

MooseIn the first game of the Dumbass Olympics, we have two legendary teams up against one another: Australia vs. Canada. Having just dominated the Commonwealth Games, Australia probably feels like they have this sewn up, particularly when you see their lead Dumbass: a 44-year-old man who stopped to ask the police for directions to Uluru (Ayers Rock). Two problems: he was only 100 metres away from it, and he was drunk.

But not to be outdone, a man in Nova Scotia has been busted for shooting a robotic moose!

We would like to congratulate him for seeing the dangers of the coming robot uprising, but unfortunately, he thought it was a real moose. And it was a sting operation by the Natural Resources Department. And the conservation officers were standing nearby, so he was easy to nab.

Why is it illegal to shoot a robotic moose? It’s not. It’s illegal to shoot the mainland moose because it’s an endangered species.

Round one goes to Canada. The decoy may look pretty real, but the conservation officers should have been a tip-off.

Mitigating factors: The Australian was drunk, and it WAS dark when he asked for directions to Uluru.

Man misses world’s biggest rock | Popping Bullwinkle costs hunter | Moose by sirmildredpierce