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The Lost PowerPoint Slides (Malthusian Edition)

By on February 14, 2006 in The Lost PowerPoints

MalthusMy origins (slide 2)

  • Yes, I am aware of the irony of being born on St. Valentine’s Day.

Population Principle (slide 4)

  • the capacity of the Earth to create food is vastly outstripped by human wubblie potential
  • yes, the ability of humans to reproduce
  • okay, the phrase is sexual procreation, but it’s so embarrassing to say!

Population Principle (slide 5)

In short:

  • wubblie potential is exponential
  • food supply is linear.

Fewer Humans: A good thing (slide 6)

Wubblie potential is only kept in check by:

  • natural causes — accidents and old age
  • misery — war, pestilence and famine
  • moral restraint
  • vice.

Fewer Humans: Vice — further explained (slide 7)

  • infanticide
  • murder
  • contraception
  • Nancy boys.

Preferred methods of reducing Wubblie potential (only slide)

  • late marriage
  • abstinence
  • (no “accidental” touching of jumblies either)
  • yes, I agree, not fun but necessary, and very British!

Inspired by:
Birthday of Thomas Robert “not much for having fun” Malthus, Feb. 1766. NB: There is no historical evidence that Malthus ever used the phrases “wubblies” or “jumblies”.

The Carnival of Satire (#20)

By on February 9, 2006 in Carnival of Satire

The Carnival of SatireUnholy satire awaits in this 20th edition of The Carnival of Satire. We are somewhat concerned about our title graphic, given the touchy nature of certain religious groups, but we are free speech proponents. (Be thankful we are not so free as to use this picture.) Let us know if you like the pull-quotes introducing some of the posts. We tried not to steal all the funniest lines.

We’ll start off with an invocation of thanks to Ahistoricality for digging up some damned satire. This moment of science: Metabolism of Evolution Information in the Blogosphere is hilarious (you may want to click on this view and zoom in). And this uberspoof from The Poor Man Institute, Cornhole Classic is also great, though General Kang thought it was a little too “on the nose”.

FIAR at Radioactive Liberty inspired our title graphic with Get Ready!.

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J.R. Kinnard at Don’t Floss with Tinsel preaches to the fake (and demonic) news choir with Bush Unveils Plan To Invade Cat-Man.

“While Democrats voiced their opposition to the President’s intentions, they agreed Cat-Man was, indeed, creepy.”

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Remember Terri Schiavo? We must have been in a persistent vegitative state, because we missed this un-hallowed post the first time around. Well, My Living Will was brill(iant). Thanks to GrrlScientist at Living the Scientific Life for healing us! Be-aow!

“Under no circumstances shall the members of the White House, or federal or state legislatures enact a special law to keep me on life support equipment. It is my expressed wish that these boneheads mind their own damn business by actually doing something to improve the health, education and welfare of Americans who aren’t yet in a persistent vegetative state.”

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At Mean Ol’ Meany you’ll find And Now, I Have Renamed February “Blackuary”. While Two Dogs is at it, he renames the other months too, including, Juanuary, Sextember, and Deathcember. We were sad to see that Islamber was missed.

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Peace Moonbeam’s mission of Anti-Christ-like mercy goes awry in American Gulag.

“I screamed for the guard as one jihadist held me while the another furiously tried to decapitate me! Thank God all he had was a toothbrush…”

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