Navigation

The Phrase Freak: IED

By on February 8, 2006 in General Skwib, Parody & Satire, The Phrase Freak

Not to be confused with IUD, IED is the acronym for “improvised explosive device”. We believe this one may have been foisted on us by the Pentagon in order to somewhat sanitize reporting in Iraq.

IED sounds less messy than makeshift bomb, or roadside bomb, or heck, even bomb. However, the Pentagon has a rich history of trying to sanitize wars, so it is the media that must take the blame for this one, not the US Military.

We’re just glad that VBIED (vehicle borne IED) has not caught on too.

Freak level on this phrase: 7 gobsmacks out of 10.

Ask General Kang: So where do you stand on this whole Danish cartoon thing?

By on February 7, 2006 in Ask General Kang, Parody & Satire

ask general kangI’m against them. Not because they’re offensive, but because they are badly drawn.

You humans are interesting, and this latest clash of cultures is most illuminating. When my fleet gets here — and eventually it will — I think I know how to sow a little discord on this pretty blue planet to make my job of conquering you a bit easier.

For the Muslim world, I’ll just pre-empt regular Al-Jezeera programming with my pilot sit-com, “Everybody Hates Muhammad!”

In the West, all I have to do is attack your sacred freedom of speech. Perhaps if a leading dissident protests at a State of the Union address I’ll have her arrested. Or I could wiretap private phone calls!

No, wait, that won’t work…

Oh, I know, I’ll just pre-empt a major sporting event with my pilot sit-com, “Everybody Hates Muhammad!”

Next time: Where do you stand on the whole, “sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don’t” debate?

Offend-a-tron 3000: Buddhism

By on February 6, 2006 in But is it art?, Parody & Satire

Buddha with roast babyWe like Buddhism. If ever we were to join an organized religion, it would be Buddhism. However, in an attempt to create offensive images about religions other than the “big three”: Islam, Christianity and Judaism, The Skwib has invented the Offend-a-tron 3000; simply choose a religion from our database, and the Offend-a-tron 3000 pumps out the most offensive image it can. (Google is in talks with us about buying this invention, and thinking of calling it Google Affront.)

One of the big precepts in Buddhism is not to take the life of anything living. A baby is alive right? Not if it’s roasted and served with carrots! And that’s what our Buddha is about to enjoy. You can just see him being mindful of how good it’s going to taste.

Just to be really offensive, let’s imagine that he’s drunk too.

So, we need to know, is this more offensive than Muhammad with Bomb for a turban or less?

Next week: Fat Jainists