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...About the Emily
Chesley Reading Circle
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Q & A with Dr.
Tundra
Dr. Tundra, how would you define 'binge drinking'? Well, that is an interesting question. Could I offer you a drink before we get started though? No. Well, according to the OED, binge is probably derived from the East Anglian dialect of: to soak. Though this meaning has changed somewhat to mean generally . . . are you sure I can't get you anything? Would you mind if I . . . no, well, good. [Pours himself a two fingers of a fine Highland single malt.] Anyway, where were we, oh yes, binge drinking. As I was saying, the meaning has changed somewhat from its roots in the fens and marshes of East Anglia to mean: excessive eating, drinking, sex, peyote button use, whatever. Are you sure I can't get you . . . yes, of course you're not interested. What would the medical definition be? Ah, now that is a thornier issue, but one that I could speak to, as I am after all, a doctor. I would direct you to the excellent article below, but before you read it, I have several things to say on the issue. But firsht, if you'll excuse me, I'll just pour myself another short one. [Another, stiffer scotch is poured, then consumed. Dr. Tundra proceeds to pour a third.] Ah. Lovely stuff this Balvenie. Dr. Tundra? Yesh? You were going to elaborate on your definition of binge drinking. Don't mind if I do. [Pours himself another four fingers of "The Balvenie".] I for one, feel that [hic] it's a grosh mishrepresn-mishrepresn . . . exxgageration to say that 21 drinks is a bringe. I mean bringe. I'd say that bringe -- that over-consumption of alcohol, or anything elszhe for thats mattser, is every . . . excuse me. [He rushes out of room. And returns several minutes later. Pours a fifth drink, this time ignoring the scotch tumbler, and instead, using a large water glass.] Dr. Tundra, wouldn't you say that you are binge drinking at this very moment? Of course not -- this is a hobby. A shivilized tasting of a very fine . . . uh, whishkey. A pre-dinner aperitif, consisting of . . . I'd gauge at least 18 ounces of a very fine scotch in the space of less than 10 minutes. If that does not constitute binge drinking, then I don't know what would. Not to mention that a bottle like that should be savored over a period of years, not chugged like the way a bum downs cheap ripple. Ah, you see. That is why this whole question is extremely complex. . . [He collapses in his chair.]
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