Peruse her biography:

Part I: Fün Untersee
Part II: Mind-Bombing Berlin
Part III: Dung Beetles in the Eagle's Nest
Part IV: Suisse to Spidgy:
Part V: The Firey End

The Big Finish
Part II: Mind-Bombing Berlin

"Berlin was puffed up with its own importance, just like the jack-booted twits marching down Wilhelm Strasse towards the new Reichs Chancellery. It looked as though "The Warlord of West McGillvary" had jumped off the page and squatted right down in the heart of Prussia. On a positive note, the wurst was excellent." (Speculations)

Emily was delivered to the Ministry for Propaganda and Re-Education on July 15, 1940, just a few days after her arrival in Germany. She was surprised to be interviewed by the Reichs Minister himself.

Goebbles was often described as the "little doctor with the club foot."(1) The latter ailment had kept him out of the First World War, though it didn't prevent him from making things quite miserable in the sequel. Goebbles was shocked to discover that not only did Emily not have her press credentials from the Evanston Almanac, she had no papers at all! (Emily discovered that the Germans were mad over "papers" - an endless stream of officials, police and other complete pratts were constantly asking to see them. In earlier days the parade of Teutons dressed in so much leather might have titillated her. In Nazi Germany it was bother, and a dangerous one at that. Stories of the concentration camps for all "undesirables" were as hair-raising as aliens in The Brain Beasts of Blenheim Township.)

"Murray L. Slaughter", was Emily's newest alias. Goebbles was a complete pratt, but he did arrange to outfit Emily with a few fine wool suits and an excellent pipe.

Emily decided to flatter Doctor Goebbles on his entirely unsuccessful 1929 novel, "Michael - A German Destiny in Diary Form"; it had been recommended to her by her mad mental gigolo, Gabrielle D'Annunzio.

Perhaps it was the baggy coveralls and Emily's generally disheveled appearance, or her insightful appreciation of "Michael", but for some reason, Goebbles did not realize that Emily was a woman. By the end of the interview, Joe (as he now insisted Emily call him) had issued her a set of identity cards, press credentials, and a ProMi (2) pass that would allow her access to nearly anyone she needed for her story. Her new alias was "Murray L. Slaughter". He also arranged to outfit Emily with a few fine wool suits (with fashionably wide shoulders) and an excellent pipe.

"Mr. Slaughter, why would you need to speak with Doctor Heisenberg? He is most busy on Reichs business, you know."

"Well, I was hoping to show the general superiority of the German people in all fields of endeavor, not just farming. As we're speaking of the topic, would now be a good time to book an interview with Herr Hitler?"

Goebbles sputtered and he said he'd see what he could do, all thought of denying my Heisenberg request banished. The fool could not see I was using his own techniques on him! (3)

Caught off-balance by Emily's request to see Hitler, Goebbles granted the Heisenberg interview later that month.

While waiting to see her old "friend", Emily ran run into William Shirer, who was reporting on events in Berlin for CBS news. He was appalled that she was in Germany at all, let alone that she was posing as a man, and asking for interviews with Hitler. A fan of Emily's work, Shirer knew all too well that the Nazis would not approve of her perspective on women. Instead of independent thinkers, the Nazis felt that a woman's place was in the kitchen (and occasionally the bedroom to help produce more Nazis). Shirer could see only disaster in Emily's future should her femininity - and identity -- be discovered. Emily said her intention was to escape Germany and she hoped that Heisenberg could help her with the details. (4)

Alas, she put too much hope in a few nights of passion and the advanced "relaxation" techniques she taught him in 1926. Heisenberg was horrified to have her turn up at his lab, where he was trying to figure out how to make a fission bomb for the Nazis. He certainly wasn't going to put himself out to help Emily escape. On the other hand, he didn't turn her in either. Typically, Heisenberg was uncertain about his principles.(5) Emily was not impressed, and in the last chapter of Speculations Emily deemed him: "a complete fathead."

Emily had no help left to her. The authorities were beginning to round up all foreign nationals and place them in the camps. Only her influence with Goebbles and the promise of a glowing review of National Socialism (and the subsequent propaganda coup) kept her from incarceration.(6) Throughout the early part of 1941, Emily stalled on submitting her article to the censors, hoping that she could find another way out of the country.

After nine months in Berlin, it was clear to Emily: Germany had fallen into complete darkness, a black pit that she had only been able to imagine in fiction. It was at this low point that she was told she would get her interview with Hitler after all, at his mountain retreat at Berchtesgarden.

Next: Part III: Dung Beetles in the Eagle's Nest...>

Notes:

(1) It was also suggested in a WWII song that he had no testicles. [back]

(2) This was the nickname for the ministry. [back]

(3) Emily had misinterpreted Goebbles essay on "mind-bombing" techniques. [back]

(4) Shirer could not help her himself, as he was under careful scrutiny by the Gestapo. In fact, he was forced to escape Berlin himself in December, 1940. [back]

(5) Historians still debate if he purposefully prevented the Germans from developing an atom bomb, or if he was just incapable of doing it, though recent evidence argues the latter. [back]

(6) Goebble's propaganda efforts were largely directed at keeping America out of the war. [back]