From the Book of Renovations:
And lo, there will come a time of Great Home Improvement and truly, it will be a time of Wailing and Unhappiness.
To the Church will come a False Prophet, and his name shall be Allen, or Tim, and he shall encourage the use of over-powered tools for all manner of misguided Weekend Projects.
And then the people will Suffer a great many Traumas. Those who would be Carpenters shall hurt themselves in great number with nails and spikes and all manner of metal, and there will be machines that show the truth of these internal injuries and Cranial Invasion.
There will be some Explaining To Do, and the wives and husbands of the Carpenters will shake their heads, wroth with confusion and pain.
