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Archive | January, 2008

The Lost PowerPoint Slides (Temporal Lobe Epilepsy Edition)

By on January 7, 2008 in But is it art?, The Lost PowerPoints

Joan of Arc, well after hearing the voicesJoan of Arc presents “Voices in a Field” (circa 1424) –> Slide 3

  • in field
  • heard voice of St. Michael, St. Catherine, St. Margaret
  • they told me to drive out the English
  • bring Dauphin to Reims for coronation
  • and to wear asbestos armor, whatever that is.

Joseph Smith presents “Correct church” (circa 1819) –> Slide 5

  • in grove of trees
  • God and Jesus appeared to me
  • told me no established church was correct
  • I should join none of them
  • and also, go treasure hunting.

L. Ron Hubbard presents “Xenu and You” (circa 1967) –> slide 12

  • in my private ship, and “researched” this story:
  • Xenu was galactic dictator 75 million years ago
  • brought billions to Earth in DC-8-like space ships
  • killed them with hydrogen bombs and messed with their souls.
  • Did I mention I was living on a diet of alcohol and pills?

Inspired by Joan of Arc’s birthday (January 6, 1412) and the funky pic by pwbaker. More hilarious hallucinations available at humor-blogs.com.

Sunday O-Rama!

By on January 6, 2008 in General Skwib

We got carnivals! (Just watch out for the angry clowns.)

A merry-go-round of a Carnival of History.

Chock full of heathen goodies: The Carnival of the Godless.

If that wasn’t enough, consider a visit to the Carnival of the Insanities.

And while you’re visiting, try to behave a bit better than these idiots. The video from CollegeHumor examines the notion of business people talking the way they comment:

These guys are much more polite (and funny).

Can’t sleep, clown will eat me

By on January 4, 2008 in But is it art?, Parody & Satire

Bozo's LamentDo you suffer from coulrophobia? Are you haunted by images of that clown at your sixth birthday party — you know, the one where the clown turned balloon art into something that made your mother scream and your father inexplicably start wailing on him?

Well, you’re right to be afraid. Deep down, everybody knows that clowns are filled with a barely caged animal rage. Oh sure, it’s all dressed up in the capering, car-stuffing, and pie-flinging. But don’t be fooled by their colorful outfits and improbable hair.

They are dangerous. They will turn on you. And this song proves it:

Bozo’s Lament

I guess because my name is Bozo
I was destined to be a clown
But when I joined the traveling circus
I didn’t think that it would bring me down
Make me angry like sniper in a tower
And every Saturday
I take off my nose and say never more

Pie in my face
Five days a workweek
It’s in my face
Pie in my face
It sucks to be a clown

You can go listen to Bozo’s Lament (and read the rest of the lyrics) at Jonathan Coulton’s website. The disturbing illustration is by Jawboneradio. You should check out both of their off-beat works. You may also want to check out the clowns at humor-blogs.com.

Carnival of Satire (#91)

By on January 3, 2008 in Carnival of Satire

Toothy alienWelcome to the first Carnival of Satire for 2008, the Light-Year of the Alien. Basically, the blogosphere is like Manhattan in the Men in Black movies. Sure, we pretend that we’re normal people, but bloggers everywhere are freaks, exhibitionists, and certainly extraterrestrial in nature. Sometimes, we’re even satirical.

Daniel Brenton blows the lid off Operation Majestic Twelve in the second episode of The Round Files: The George W. Bush MJ-12 Briefing

David Mills makes good use of his audio editing software and presents this anti-Semitic rant from Ann Coulter. (I mean, come on, for sure she’s an alien.)

Madeleine Begun Kane believes there is an alien conspiracy in Arkansas, and she Won’t Graciously Submit To Mike Huckabee.

Brent Diggs and the good people at Ominous Comma Industries have a new product for us meta-galactic mutants looking for love, promising: Copious Comments – Guaranteed.

Thomas K presents MUTE Politics. Surely there’s an Earth drinking game somewhere in here?

Sammy Benoit is channeling some kind of Ambrose Bierce-like ET in this Middle East Peace RAW SEX TALK.

gameguy presents the news that Cheney’s Biscuits Are Burning.

Usiku presents an alien’s perspective on Understanding Underwriting

Keith_R tackles the surreal (off-world) language of the business world in: The Top 12 Phrases I Hate in 2007.

And while the jet warms up, Dan Johnson figures that Gift Cards are Ruining The Holidays and has reasons why. (Just replace the word “gas” with the word “space” in this post, and you’ll see he’s an alien too.)

And that’s it for the alien edition! If you have some satire to share, please consider submitting next time. Thanks to these fine folks for helping us with webby-stuff: the Blog Carnival for their form; and the listings at the Ubercarnival, the Blog Carnival, and the good denizens of Planet Humor-Blogs too. A special thanks to Garrette for his toothy alien.

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