Misunderstood Genius
Greta “The Fallopian” Webcastico was ahead of her time. Not only was she the finest beach accordionist in the tri-state area, Greta was the first composer to create music designed to be played in counterpoint to the dulcet tones of molting seagulls eager to eat your French Fries.
The truth was, Greta was the ONLY beach accordionist in the tri-state area. That said, Arnold Schoenberg was intrigued by her ideas and incorporated them into his 12-tone masterpiece, “Variations on the Key of Bleeding Ears.”
Time her of ahead
Jenny Buxom was also a forward-thinking beach babe. Nobody was sure if her claims that she had been to the Land of the Future was eccentric whimsy, or if her radioactive bikini (which she’d picked up for a song at the Atoll-must-go sale) was causing a her synapses to misfire.
Whimsy or not, she was serious about any prospective beaux putting on “the suit” before hanky-panky.
She called it safe sex.
Dieter called it delectable. Particularly when she stood on his air hose.
Get a regular hosing of absurd and humorous prose when you sign up for The MonkeySphere. You’ll also get a chance to win a Kindle ($139 Amazon gift card, if you already got the ereader). More chances to win if you buy one of my books. Full contest details here.
Alltop is also ahead of their time. Thanks to Foxtongue for finding these pics. Originally published in February, 2009.
[From the Toulouse Le Grandfig Necrobiblia collection]
Lucinda was a dreamer. Someday, she knew that her Mom would return with the waffle iron and say she was sorry; perhaps even share her delicious recipe for Translucent Liquid Essence of Bran.
Toto the Bio-Sphere Demolition-Bot wondered what it was all about. Did life really mean anything? There had to be more to existence then the senseless destruction of countless inhabited worlds at the bidding of his master, Dorothy Bunny Slippers and her noxious cohort of flying syphilitic space monkeys.
“Oh Sergei, do you think we’ll ever escape this festering plain, this landscape of ennui and emptiness, so that we can share our love as it was meant to be shared?”
Jeremy went to a Catholic school.
Mephistopheles relaxed after a good (evil) day’s work. He’d chalked up three witches, a magus, a handful of brick-makers who’d had too much to drink, and Michael Bay. (Boob, explosions and flash-cuts could only get you so far.)