Ye Old Skwib | Page 222

Carnival of the Green

By Mark A. Rayner on November 2, 2006 in General Skwib

We’re not sure how we missed it, but the Carnival of the Green can be found here.

The nature of obscenity

By Mark A. Rayner on November 2, 2006 in Monkeys!, Parody & Satire

What, exactly, is an obscenity?

We’re only asking because this school bus driver was fired for giving an “obscene gesture” to the President of the United States of America (you know, if you can’t respect the man, you should at least respect the office).

Did she grab her crotch, a la Madona? Did she fellate a finger? Did she do something even worse? (Sorry, but we’re having trouble coming up with what that might look like, given that she was driving a bus at the time.)

No, she gave Mr. Bush the finger.

And she was fired, not for harassing the President, but for setting a bad example for the children riding on her bus. So what is more obscene, giving someone the finger, or starting a war that kills thousands of people?

Oh, there’s an answer: Killing people is NOT obscene. Fucking them is. But not nearly as obscene as suggesting they go fuck themselves, apparently.

‘Inspired’ by: Bus driver fired for obscene gesture to Bush

Other carnivals

By Mark A. Rayner on November 2, 2006 in General Skwib

Kehaar has a lively Carnival of the Vanities this week, including lots of posts about elections and holidays.

The Carnival of Satire (#53)

By Mark A. Rayner on November 2, 2006 in Carnival of Satire

carnival of satire The dreaded turkey approaches. Yes, the election. Perhaps some satire will help you choke it down.

Jennifer Miner has some great advice on How to cook a Thanksgiving meal that ensures you’ll never be the host family again.

Suanne Warr from Tales from the Raven has spotted the Mathematician Conspiracy.

Mad Kane has a hilarious limerick about Wine Tasting Robots, Oh My! Be sure to read the anthropophagic poetry too.

You can find some equally amusing Ten Second TV Reviews here, deftly penned by Steve at the Poutine Diaries. Continue Reading →

KFC still addictive, study finds

By Mark A. Rayner on October 31, 2006 in Odd Science, Parody & Satire

The Colonel still addictive NEW YORK (The Skwib) — Despite recent moves to eliminate the use of trans-fats from its fare, Kentucky Fried Chicken (KFC) is still addictive.

“Yes, there is still a problem with this so-called ‘food’,” Dr. Finn Gerliken, Director of the Institute for a Widening America (IWA), told The Skwib.

The IWA and other consumer groups have applauded KFC for making the move, even though some of their menu items, such as biscuits still use the deadly fat.

“However, we have run some tests in our labs, and it seems the Colonel is more addictive than ever,” Dr. Gerlicken said.

“And it has double the self-loathing effect if you do succumb to your fortnightly urge to consume their fried chicken. I had four pieces just last night, and I’m still feeling intense shame. Please, stop looking at me,” Dr. Gerlicken said.

An average American eats 4.7 pounds of trans fats a year, and the oil is used as a shortening in baked goods like cookies, crackers and doughnuts, as well as in deep frying. Trans fats increase coronary heart disease by increasing bad cholesterol and decreasing good cholesterol.

KFC was unavailable for comment.

The actual news | Original photo by indi.ca