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The Carnival of Satire (#54)

By on November 9, 2006 in Carnival of Satire

The Carnival of Satire (#54)This is an excellent Carnival of Satire, because it proves that even after a depraved election season (still ongoing for some of us) satire CAN be written about other subjects. We’ll start there:

Alosius Katz was good enough to find this excellent expose of Pet Porn. It’s catblogging taken to the next (satirical) level.

Ahistoricality found this illuminating article on Why Engineers Don’t Write Recipe Books.

Polliwog did a little time-traveling to find Spring forward, fall back. Also, check out Bobbarama’s “dictiovary” entry underneath.

Mad Kane is worrying about saving time also, and has a few ideas for contending with it. Continue Reading →

Professor Quippy: Human-Cow Hybrids and the 21st Century Codpiece

By on November 7, 2006 in Odd Science, Parody & Satire

Professor QuippyBritish scientists have asked for permission to create a human-cow hybrid, in hopes that they can totally freak out the religious right in America.

Kidding — they really want to mess with the religious right in Britain. Oh, and they hope that the experiment will allow them to create more stem cells, which will help researchers find treatments for such diseases as Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s. (Or so they hope.)

WE HOPE that none of those cells actually mature and create human-cow hybrids. The cow-men (or would that be bull-men) that could result would probably find the idea of purchasing mens’ skivvies with “Wondercups” laughable.

This is a major breakthrough in men’s underwear. The design is supposed to enhance the apparent size of the contents of said underwear.

A non-bovine spokesperson for the company said: “It basically lifts, separates and extends. This design uses all of the natural assets of the person, whether they be big, small or indifferent.”

Mooove over codpiece!

The Science:
UK Scientists Have Cow Fetish | 21st Century Codpiece

Ask General Kang: What should you do if you discover your leader is a hypocrite?

By on November 6, 2006 in Ask General Kang, Monkeys!, Parody & Satire

Ask General KangFirst of all, don’t be surprised. Then, I suppose it depends a little what kind of hypocrite.

For example, if you are talking about a leader of a church — let’s say for the sake of argument, an evangelical church that spends much of its efforts demonizing homosexuals — and this reverend is discovered having torrid, drug-fueled homosexual liaisons, then there is really little you can do.

Clearly, such a person is so filled with self-loathing that it will be difficult to punish the leader further. So, just fire them and let the healing begin, though I humbly submit that you may want to have a look at joining a less messed-up church. (Or better yet, join the Church of Kang, where we celebrate every new planet conquered with electric Jello shooters (grape and banana of course), drunken monkey sex, and several hours of grooming.)

If you’ve got a leader who says he’s compassionate, but clearly doesn’t give a crap about anyone else outside of his rich clique and who gets you into a war under false pretenses, then you have two options: strap on your pink tutu, charge up your plasma weapons and storm his palace, or vote him out of office.

Of course, on my home planet of Neecknaw, we never discovered democracy, so we only ever had that first option.

And thank the Gods of Kang for that!

Next time: Thag want make fire. How make fire?