The Carnival of Satire (#44)

The Carnival of Satire #44Welcome to the dog days of summer edition. We hope this keeps you going over an extra-long break — we’ll return to our weekly schedule on September 7th. Until then, woof.

AmericanInventorSpot.com is a dog (though you can never be sure on the web) to suggest 10 Ways to Freak Out Your Date. Of course, Dr. Tundra doesn’t need any help in this regard. Neither does General Kang. And Thag is no Cassanova either.

Madeleine Begun Kane at Mad Kane’s Notables has a howlingly funny tune for us: The Ballad Of Joementum Joe Lieberman (To be sung to the tune of Danny Boy)

Ahistoricality has been digging massive holes in the yard and found this great bone to play with: Great Americans!!!!!! Like Plato!.

SickSadWorld has a second lovely list for us this edition, with This is not a cry for help, I swear.

Ahistoricality also was good enough to dig up this science spoof: Spooked911 Moon landing faked!.

Stiknstein has no mercy has a cunning plan for Cuba Continue Reading →

The Devil’s Dictionary: The Skwib Updates: K

K

The Devil's UpdatesKORAN, n. A book which the Mohammedans foolishly believe to have been written by divine inspiration, but which Christians know to be a wicked imposture, contradictory to the Holy Scriptures.

The Skwib Update:

KORAN, n. A recitation; a narrative, legal prescription and exhortation on how to submit.

The Devil’s Dictionary: The Skwib Updates: I

I

The Devil's UpdatesINFIDEL, n. In New York, one who does not believe in the Christian religion; in Constantinople, one who does. A kind of scoundrel imperfectly reverent of, and niggardly contributory to, divines, ecclesiastics, popes, parsons, canons, monks, mollahs, voodoos, presbyters, hierophants, prelates, obeah-men, abbes, nuns, missionaries, exhorters, deacons, friars, hadjis, high-priests, muezzins, brahmins, medicine-men, confessors, eminences, elders, primates, prebendaries, pilgrims, prophets, imaums, beneficiaries, clerks, vicars-choral, archbishops, bishops, abbots, priors, preachers, padres, abbotesses, caloyers, palmers, curates, patriarchs, bonezs, santons, beadsmen, canonesses, residentiaries, diocesans, deans, subdeans, rural deans, abdals, charm-sellers, archdeacons, hierarchs, class-leaders, incumbents, capitulars, sheiks, talapoins, postulants, scribes, gooroos, precentors, beadles, fakeers, sextons, reverences, revivalists, cenobites, perpetual curates, chaplains, mudjoes, readers, novices, vicars, pastors, rabbis, ulemas, lamas, sacristans, vergers, dervises, lectors, church wardens, cardinals, prioresses, suffragans, acolytes, rectors, cures, sophis, mutifs and pumpums.

The Skwib Update:

INFIDEL, n. Anyone living in Europe, North America and a few select nations such as Australia and New Zealand.

The Devil’s Dictionary: The Skwib Updates: H

H

The Devil's UpdatesHOMICIDE, n. The slaying of one human being by another. There are four kinds of homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy, but it makes no great difference to the person slain whether he fell by one kind or another — the classification is for advantage of the lawyers.

The Skwib Update:

HOMICIDE, n. The slaying of one human being by another. Used by the news and information entertainment industry to sell soap.

The Devil’s Dictionary: The Skwib Updates: H

H

The Devil's UpdatesHEMP, n. A plant from whose fibrous bark is made an article of neckwear which is frequently put on after public speaking in the open air and prevents the wearer from taking cold.

The Skwib Update:

HEMP, n. A plant from whose delicate leaves is made substances that threatens the very fabric of reality, morality and social order.