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ALL CAPS NOT FUNNY!!!

By on December 6, 2005 in But is it art?, General Skwib

SOGENFJORD, Norway (The Skwib) — Scienticians at the Institute for Busting a Gut (I-BAG) here in Sogenfjord have just discovered that using all-caps in electronic communication is not perceived as being funny.

“Yah, is quite a finding. Even if joke IS ACTUALLY funny, all caps makes it not funny,” Dr. Knud Hammerhung told The Skwib.

Additionally, the researchers at the I-BAG discovered that excessive use of exclamation marks also made potentially humorous material also less amusing.

“And is interestink,” Dr. Hammerhung said, “also we are finding that as language is less grammatically correct, and more filled with … how you English say … spelling errors, is also less amusing.”

I-BAG is the pioneering facility that discovered nobody thinks joy buzzers are funny anymore. The Institute is also conducting a longitudinal study to discover if the French have a sense of humor in the conventional sense.

Carnivalesque and carnivals

By on December 4, 2005 in General Skwib

If you like the HBO (TMN in Canada) series Rome, then you’ll have to go check out this month’s Carnivalesque, a roundup of ancient and medieval history posts, hosted at Blogenspiel, who rightly points out that my alternate history tale about William Tell is not really history, as William Tell is actually more of a legend. (I did know this, by the by, before I wrote it.)

This is traditionally the Day of Insanity, which has its own carnival, hosted by Dr. Sanity.

I read my blogroll (#5)

By on December 3, 2005 in General Skwib

Okay first of all you need to go over and read Worst Bat Mitzva Ever at The Poutine Diaries. (But come back for more good stuff.) Elison reminds us that the Friends were genuine morons.

For those of you who are missing TunaFish News, I recommend you check out Archer’s new endeavor, Lawyerworldland. Well written, funny, depressing.

Grumpy Old Bookman has discovered a case in which we think the Irony Police may have an interest.

HP Lovecraft Meets the Family Circus, courtesy of Mr. Snitch!

The Rev. has a wonderful extended metaphor on blogging. (Related note: got an instalanche yesterday. Cool.)

And if you’re looking for something to do, Suzi at Special Fried Rice is hosting the Bonfire of the Vanities this coming week. She wants your drek. Wants it bad.

Alternate History Friday: The Inauguration

By on December 2, 2005 in Parody & Satire, Skwibby fiction

inauguration of President McCarthyJack’s disquiet had grown to panic, but he still got his shot.

He’d been a photographer in Washington for too long perhaps. He did not think it was possible, but America had failed to see through the demagoguery.

He’d walked with the new president’s car for a while — trying to get the best shot — but he couldn’t take it anymore. He let the car drive by, with Joseph McCarthy in the back, waving.

President McCarthy.

Just two years earlier, army attorney Joseph Welch had asked McCarthy through tears: “Until this moment, senator, I think I never really gauged your cruelty or your recklessness. Let us not assassinate this lad further, senator. You have done enough. Have you no sense of decency, sir? At long last, have you no sense of decency?” The crowded hearing room had burst into spontaneous applause.

Jack had thought it would be all over then. But then something happened. A real spy surfaced. And McCarthy had been right about at least one of his victims.

The doubts about McCarthy turned to enthusiasm. The Senate did not chastise him, and in a one-sided vote they gave him more powers.

The next year, Dwight D. Eisenhower claimed that he would not run again, due to ill health, but everyone within the Beltway knew the score — even those few Republicans who still didn’t trust McCarthy would support him.

They’d been told by McCarthy’s running mate, Richard Nixon: “Support McCarthy. Or else.”

More high-ranking bureaucrats and armed forces personnel were named each day. Those who did not support McCarthy ended up appearing before his hearing.

The car bearing his new President rolled down the road, was obscured by exhaust steam, and Jack wondered if America had disappeared with it.

He took one last photo, just in case.

Inspired by:
December 2, 1954 — The United States Senate votes 65 to 22 to condemn Joseph McCarthy for “conduct that tends to bring the Senate into dishonor and disrepute.”

Toulouse Le Grandfig: Pure Lain Follies

By on December 2, 2005 in But is it art?, Toulouse Le Grandfig

pepe was madEveryone in La Tranche Huit knew that Pepe was stark raving mad.

Either they were afraid of his legendary marksmanship, or perhaps it was just an ethical failing, but whatever the case, nobody had the strength of their convictions to tell him the truth:

His “horse”… Encephalitis? … was actually Henri Gastroent, an aging and somewhat gassy pensioner from the Gaspe.

Even so, as the Bloc candidate, they would be voting for him.

[Ed. Note: Toulouse Le Grandfig was a little-known dadaist painter, writer and photographer who refused to give up dadaism, long after his peers had moved on to surrealism and other “isms”. The Skwib is proud to present his work, which would otherwise go forgotten. Perhaps rightly so you may say, but we like it… Mark.