A few carnivals to make note of: if you enjoy science writing, then the latest Tangled Bank is at The Examining Room of Dr. Charles. You’ll find the Friday Ark at The Modulator, and some Funny Stuff at the Conservative Cat.
Geishas strike, call for all women to curtail “wifely dutiesâ€
Tokyo, Japan (The Skwib) — Outraged by the comments of Crown Prince Naruhito, the Geisha union has gone on strike, paralyzing Japanese business and bedroom activity.
The prince wants to keep women off the Japanese throne. Because of a shortage of male heirs, he has suggested that the royals should consider bringing back concubines.
“We find the idea very objectionable,” Suki Suzuki, spokesperson for the Beautiful Japanese and Traditional Union of Geisha (BJ&TUG) told The Skwib in a media statement. “Traditional Geishas must train for many years to properly entertain gents at tea services and such. It is not proper for Crown Prince to suggest the bring back concubines, who do not train, and who have very bad posture.” *
BJ&TUG has also called for Japanese housewives to join them in their strike, suggesting that they curtain their “wifely duties” to persuade their husbands to put pressure on the royal family NOT to return to old practices.
In an email, Tokyo businessman Aki Tonahito told The Skwib: “sure, me have concubine wanting yes, me too, who not want? But new millennium is. Do we bring back old traditions in want to so much? What if seppuku? Then cut gut for bad deal made last week. No way. Besides, no intercourse at home or in teacup until Royal Family nonsense up the giving.”*
The Japanese royal family refused to comment.
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*Due to limited resources, The Skwib was forced to use an Internet service for the translation of these documents.
Inspired by:
Japanese prince wants concubines back | photo by =rebirth
Carnival of Satire #7
Welcome to the seventh Carnival of Satire at The Skwib. This is a lucky number indeed, with a collection of pert and perspicacious posts for your delectation.
Elisson at Blog d’Elisson takes out his palette and brushes, and presents this Sistine Chapel of Satire: I’m the Guy
Hoodlumman at File it Under (who’s motto is: “Iguanas in hats. Admit it — you’re hooked.”) does hook us, and then shook us up this morning with a seriously funny bit of satire in Rumbles, Sirens Detected in Metro Areas.
Tommy at Striving For Average made us feel a little less stupid with a satirical explanation of howA Closed Senate worked.
And Ferdinand T. Cat at Conservative Cat tackles the same issue in The Story Behind the Behind Closed Doors Story.
Buckley F. Williams at The Nose On Your Face give us a treat with Miers Withdraws Acceptance To White House Halloween Bash. My only quibble with this excellent satire — I doubt very much that one of Bush’s speech writers would dare saddle him with a word like “preternatural”.
And Rev. Billy Bob Gisher at Less People Less Idiots who tackles the more ticklish religious issues, made us snarf our coffee with Ticketmaster reports problems with Rapture tickets.
As always we look forward to next week’s submissions. Remember you can submit here with this handy form, and the COS is listed at the Ubercarnival, and at the Blog Carnival too.
Martina Fitzgerald is a frickin’ comedy genius
The host of the CBC Radio show, Ontario Morning, was firing on all humor cylinders at 7:15 am.
She was doing a spot on mandatory sprinklers in all new Ontario homes, and after interviewing the MPP (Member of Provincial Parliament) who was sponsoring the new legislation, she chatted with a spokesperson from the Ontario homebuilders association, whom she introduced as Mr. Victor Fume.
(Apparently Mr. Jack Smoke-inhalation and Mr. Ted Inferno were unavailable to do the interview…)
Vic did a pretty good job with the interview. He answered all of Fitzgerald’s questions, got his point across, and never once mentioned that his name was actually Victor Hume.
Or maybe I just dreamed it all.
Halloween Carnival Horror!
A few spooky carnivals and links to make note of this morning. At The Owner’s Manual, you’ll find the Best of Me Symphony, which features the Frankenstein Edition of the Lost PowerPoint Slides. There is freaky, funny stuff at Conservative Cat. There was a special spooky Carnival of the Insanities posted at Dr. Sanity yesterday. And what better day to celebrate the Carnival of the Godless, hosted by A Rational Being? (Who irrationally didn’t use The Skwib’s entry.)
And don’t forget to check out the Carnival of Liberty..
Signs you’ve been watching too many horror movies
- You freak out whenever someone plays the top notes on the piano keyboard.
- You refuse to say: “wait here, I’ll be right back.”
- You are with an extremely hot person of the opposite sex, who wants to gratify your most depraved urges. Yet, you say no. No way. Everyone knows if you have sex, you die.
- You cannot answer the phone. Particularly at night.
- You’re in the grocery store. Your spouse wants to separate to get the shopping done faster. Un uh. That’s almost as bad as having sex.
- You start wearing rear-view mirrors.
- Your briefcase is filled with garlic, wolvesbane, silver bullets, wooden stakes, crosses, holy water and the report that you didn’t get done because you were too busy catching up on your Necronomicon reading.
- You have a video of yourself apologizing to everyone’s mother for getting them killed.
- In your opinion, Halloween is worst day of the year.
Original photo by DerrickT