The Battle of Waterloo
Napoleon Bonaparte is an iconic character, not only because he was short, wore a silly hat, and had enough pirate brothers to conquer most of Europe, but because he is the only person in history to meet his Waterloo actually at Waterloo. (The rest of us tend to meet it in boardrooms, law courts, amateur beard-growing competitions, and if you’re English, in Surrey.) Had Napoleon won the Battle of Waterloo, civilization would be quite different. For starters, there wouldn’t be 2,050,000 results on Google for the term “French surrender” (there would only be 2,049,999.) Also, we would all eat a lot more snails.
But Napoleon did not win the battle. Later his opponent, the Duke of Wellington (also famed for rendering beef completely inedible and known as “Sally” to his friends), described the fighting as: “The nearest run thing you ever saw in your life,” which was Sally’s way of saying Napoleon almost won. To add insult to injury, Napoleon’s famed Imperial Guard — the closest thing the French Army had to crack assault pirates — ran away:
My pirate brothers and sisters include Captain Stanky and Rank Ol’ Pete.
Hey
Great blog you have here, I came across it just the other day. I tried writing a blog myself and know first hand how hard it is to keep it fresh, constantly thinking of new topics to write about.
If you’re stuck, an idea to blog about is these funny videos Granville Island Brewery is promoting in Vancouver. They are based on the TV show intervention and have friends holding interventions for such ridiculous things like wearing a Speedo and sun visor. Some good one liners with a awesome and completely obvious product plug.
Check them out at http://www.vancouverinterventions.com
Just thought I could lend a hand to a fellow blogger. Keep on writing.
Sean
Thanks Sean.
I’m not sure what Robson Street Hefeweizen has to do with Napoleon (except that I’m sure his German pirate brothers would enjoy it), but the videos are funny. (The guy playing the interventionist is hilarious, btw.)
Wait a minute … you’re not saying the Lost PowerPoints are getting tired are you? Is THIS an intervention?
Mark… were here because we care for you… but theres something we need to talk about.
;p
Classic! Loved it! Hilarious! I love this blog it’s bursting with jokes…
One thing. The English promote it that Napoleon was short. He wasn’t. 5′ 6” wasn’t short for his era. No way, the genius Guard couldn’t have run away…I’d rather shoot a shako-hat! HA HA Sally! Is that true?
Another annoying bit of nonsense: L’Empereur, not L’Emperor. I’m being picky now…
Napoleon ate simple food mostly, snails were what the French Infantrymen found off the road when there was nothing else.
I tell you I would have given my beloved left hand for Napoleon and his brothers & sisters. They were geniuses, all eight of them.
Thanks Shako!