Tag Archives | humor

Carnival of Satire (#96)

By Mark A. Rayner on March 13, 2008 in Carnival of Satire

The Carnival of Satire #96 Welcome to the Carnival of Satire, where you can momentarily forget your worries about the impending meltdown of the US economy. (Stop smirking all you Albertans!)

Rickey Henderson is not only a great baseball player, but he’s financial wizard. Learn how to rise above the economic collapse with Rickey’s Stock Market Tips.

Brent Diggs has an important note about What The Promised Recession Means To You As An American. Our apologies to all the non-American readers. (May or may not include Canadians.)

Gameguy has discovered The Problem with Talking Animals. Yes, we were also surprised there was only one problem.

Elisson butts into the carnival once again with a real cracker of a story: READER.

Ben courts decranialization danger with this wonderful Potential Death Metal Album Title.

There is more information about President Bush’s package in this post by Ellis Reed than you will probably care to know: Bush’s Most Eloquent Press Conference.

Still on the political scene, Robbie Mitchell takes us deep into the Senate (ew) with this chat: what happens in estonia… “You have been invited to a conference chat with Raising_McCain and thatshillaryous1026. Do you accept? y.

O’rene Ashley continues the excellent series on How to Get Into An Ivy League School (Part 2).

Greg Merrick presents Not Only Does My Son Have A Learning Disability, He’s A Complete Idiot.

Gus presents Another irsmind.com film: “Any Given Tax Season”.

And once again, we’ll finish up with the only non-satire pick of the Carnival: Edith presents this useful information about the Three Golden Rule of Presentation by Guy Kawasaki (in YouTube video form.) Loathers and users of PowerPoint may find it especially entertaining.

And that’s it for this recession-proof edition! If you have some satire to share, please consider submitting next time. What is satire? Someone wrote something about it once, we think. Thanks to these fine folks for helping us with webby-stuff: the Blog Carnival for their form; and the listings at the Ubercarnival, Ferdy’s permanent floating ping festival, and for the listings at the Blog Carnival too. Also, you may find some satire here if you dig around a bit. Thanks to Erinsikorskystwart for the picture of the one-quarter-eaten Recession Special at Gray’s Papaya. ($3.50 US for two dogs and a drink.)

Technorati tags: carnival of satire, satire, humor.

Carnival of Satire (#95)

By Mark A. Rayner on February 28, 2008 in Carnival of Satire

Carnival of Satire (#95) It may be the length of the winter speaking, but I for one welcome our new alien overlords. Klaatu barada nikto! Welcome also, to this week’s interstellar Carnival of Satire:

Daniel Brenton has an exclusive statement from John Hordure, the director of the newly-formed League for Unified Non-cooperation with Exopolitical Enterprises (LUNEE), who reveals once and for all Why the Aliens Really Don’t Land. Bob Saget, pay attention.

What’s more baffling than UFO sightings? sweetpea has the answer: David Caruso’s “acting” ability.

Madeleine Begun Kane suggests to Dear Ralph: Go Away!. (Psst. Ralph is an alien.)

Offersave is also a poet, and this gem perfectly explains a religious crisis we’ve experienced too: I’d Like To Be A Buddhist .

It’s a well-known fact that aliens call us “monkeys”. Mind Scalpel has some interesting simian research to share, and then Amidst The Post-Valentine’s Day Rubble, Issues A Call To All Men.

Greg Merrick produces the miraculous news of an Ancient Race of Christian Man Discovered — Evolution Debunked?

Sammy Benoit says that MSNBC’s Obama/Osama Screw-up Was an Easy Mistake to Make.

If only they’d had PS3 before Iraq. Matt Howard learns that Bush and Advisors Play Team Fortress 2, Iraq War Called Off.

Speaking of Bush, O’rene Ashley has advice on How to Get Into An Ivy League School, yet did not mention anything about being born into the right family.

Chris Carter reprints a Times article Mourning A Tragic Loss.

Finally, Daniel Brenton has a sad obituary about Nessie, the Loch Ness Monster.

And that’s it for this extra-terrestrial edition! If you have some satire to share, please consider submitting next time. To the kind-hearted stranger who sent us even more soft-core Japanese porn videos, thank you, we would only share them if they’re satirical. (See “It’s all about the subtext, baby” below). What is satire? Someone wrote something about it once, we think. Thanks to these fine folks for helping us with webby-stuff: the Blog Carnival for their form; and the listings at the Ubercarnival, and at the Blog Carnival too. There are more aliens here.

Technorati tags:
carnival of satire, satire, humor, humour, ufo.

The Lost PowerPoint Slides (Wacky Ancient Greek Atheist Edition)

By Mark A. Rayner on February 22, 2008 in Hinky History, The Lost PowerPoints

Anaxagoras of Ionia presents “Hot metal, man” (circa 450 BC) –>slide 6

sun is not Helios riding a chariot in the sky
it is a blazing ball of metal
hot metal, man, hot metal
hey, it makes as much sense!

Diagoras the Atheist presents “Miracle, my ass” (circa 415 BC) –> slide 3

so this wooden statue prevented ship from sinking?
throw it (Herakles) on fire
if it can perform miracles, then it should have no problem
otherwise, his thirteenth labour shall be to boil my turnips!

Democritus presents “Ungulate theory” (circa 400 BC) –> slide two

all things made of atoma (atoms)
soul is just an exceedingly fine and spherical kind of atom
or perhaps superstition
in any case, it’s not that different from a goat.

Socrates presents “Method to my madness” (circa 399 BC) –> last slide

you have accused me of atheos (refusing to acknowledge the state gods) and corrupting the youth of Athens
it’s a fair cop
you should know I’ve been inspired by divine voice, Daemon
also, enjoy a nice pint of hemlock.

Epicurus presents “It’s all good — not God — baby” (circa 300 BC) –>slide 12

if gods exist (if!) then they’re not interested in humans
death is the end of body and soul (if it exists)
not to be feared
what is good is pleasure, baby, but not too much pleasure
why I let women into my philosophy school.

More about the History of Atheism here [wiki] and more ungodly humor here. The disembodied floating head of Epicurus (who rocked) is based on a photo by dithie.

Carnival of Satire (#94)

By Mark A. Rayner on February 14, 2008 in Carnival of Satire

The Carnival of Satire (#94) It’s Valentine’s Day, and what better way to express your love than to rip into something with a vicious bit of satire. (Actually, we mean, “what better way to express your love if you don’t have access to whipped topping, a recording of Bolero and a fool-proof way to occupy Iraq?”) You could start by questioning the very existence of love, or say, a state ….

According to arch-skeptic Chris, “credible evidence for the state of Pennsylvania remains elusive”, and he takes us through his compelling case in: A Skeptical Look at Pennsylvania. We would like him to debunk the myths of Winnipeg and love next.

Mind Scalpel has more precision blogging for us in his proof that One Frenchman Beats A Hundred Monkeys.

A horrifying fact, but what about Blue Sunshine’s insightful ideas about Horror Movies? Can they really make people uncomfortable in every situation known to man?.

FitBuff reports on an actual scientific study of the Seinfeldian term: Double Dipping. As far as we can tell this research was not conducted in Pennsylvania, so it is statistically reliable.

Newsflash: Fair at Radiactive Liberty has jumped on the Obamawagon!

Bloggledoggle has news of some interesting research that shows some 1980s Video Game Cause Obsessive Compulsive Disorder in Kids born in that era. We are somewhat skeptical, as the research is from someplace called “Philadelphia” (Pennsylvania).

M’, yeah, I’m going to need you to go ahead and work this weekend … disgruntledemployee stuffs the suggestion box.

Speaking of stuffing. And suggestions. Charles H. Green claims that he did not make up this Conversation with a Spambot, but we have our doubts.

Joe Canzano is also experiencing some work issues, as relayed in his Yearly Review

Oscar DaGrouch has a modest (and disgusting) proposal for ending world hunger: Fat transplant surgery.

Jay Groce has this ironic take on how to Make Money Blogging.

Avant News has this report: Citing Faltering Economy, Lawmakers to Forego Cocktails.

jim presents Whirled News Tonight – Illinois Presidential Primary Yields Surprises.

Sammy Benoit explains more political shenanigans in the US: Why Rush and Ann hate McCain- the real reasons.

Dr. Deb has an adorable video about What Therapists REALLY Do In Between Sessions.

This gives us a chance to include a non-satire post from TherapyDoc. (And let’s face it, if you’ve read every post to this point, you will need some help now.) What ‘Faking It ‘Til You Make It’ Really Means

And that’s it for the VD edition! If you have some satire to share, please consider submitting next time. Remember, TherpyDoc’s post is an exception, and we’re looking for satire. To the kind-hearted stranger who sent us soft-core Japanese porn videos, thank you, but we’re looking for satire. Someone wrote something about it once, we think. Thanks to these fine folks for helping us with webby-stuff: the Blog Carnival for their form; and the listings at the Ubercarnival, and at the Blog Carnival too. A special thanks to Boodoo for the image at the top and to humor-blogs.com for putting the “gei” into geisha.

Technorati tags:
carnival of satire, satire, humor, humour.

Salathial Turgid, Hanging Judge

By Mark A. Rayner on February 4, 2008 in Toulouse Le Grandfig

Salathial Turgid, Hangin' Judge

The O’Reilly Boys finally caught up with Old Judge Turgid at the Annual Pecos River Ride and Chili Jamboree. Salathial had hung their older brother Seamus “The Tinkle” O’Reilly just the year before and they were plum angry.

But Old Judge Turgid, he didn’t mind none. In addition to having a giant noggin’ that made his ten-gallon hat look like a Boston dandy’s bowler, Salathial Turgid had a legendary intestinal track capable of containing the very vapors of Hell.

He knew it. The O’Reilly Boys knew it. And the terrified denizens of Pecos knew it.

So when they put the Colt up against his temple, he laughed and said, “Boys, the only thing keeping my sphincter shut is my continued vo-lition. I’d give you the count of ten to va-moose but I suspect one of the town-folk will kill you first.”

Thanks to Michelle Jones for her creative photo and to the Hole-in-the-Mattress Gang.

Carnival of Satire (#93)

By Mark A. Rayner on January 31, 2008 in Carnival of Satire

The Carnival of Satire (#93) -- with picture of Alice in Wonderland It’s that time of the political calendar. Here in Canada we’re still waiting to see when the next election will be, but in the meanwhile, there is the US Presidential Primaries to enjoy. Depending on your viewpoint (and what kind of cake you’ve been eating), the process will make you feel either very big or very small:

DWSUWF gets us the mood for whimsical fantasy (like you’re not always in the mood for it) in: The Hero and the Queen of Darkness – A Fairy Tale for Our Time. Warning: the accompanying image is kind of graphic and disturbing.

Fiar shows us the rabbit hole (no that’s not some kind of nasty euphemism) with this Exclusive Interview with John Edwards.

David Mills takes us through the rabbit hole in this tale of the Return of the… EXCEPTIONAL 4!.

At the Borowitz Report, more Mad-hatted political news as a Gay Tiger Attacks Huckabee.

Ken G. introduces us to the Queen of Hearts when he forwarded us this email: FW: FW: FW: HILARY DIANE RODHAM CLINTON.

Escaping Wonderland, The Dopple Gang takes us on a sci-fi-tropic ride of satire in: Your Entry-Level Job Skills Are the Only Thing That Can Save the Universe.

Living Off Dividends has discovered this Hilarious Indian Telemarketeer Spoof Video.

It’s shocking. Rambo refuses to answer Rickey’s questions. Rickey should be grateful the Mumbler didn’t answer with his fist.

Aaron R is questioning if the polar bear is really Endangered?, particularly in relation to their available food supply.

chris has another video for us: Red Bull – Last Will.

Avant News presents: President Bush Remains Mute Throughout 2008 State of the Union Address.

“Professor” Reginald Isley presents What Would You Do For a Klondike Bar? (a double-speak analysis).

Sammy Benoit presents UN Human Rights Council’s List of APPROVED Gaza Solutions.

And to take us out on a final note of the surreal, this hilarious parody of the Tom Cruise Scientology Video (located here, if you haven’t already subjected yourself to its warped genius), is Jerry O’Connell:

And that’s it for the Wonderland edition! If you have some satire to share, please consider submitting next time. Thanks to these fine folks for helping us with webby-stuff: the Blog Carnival for their form; and the listings at the Ubercarnival, and at the Blog Carnival too. A special thanks to humor-blogs.com for throwing regular mad tea parties.