You don’t know what out of order is! I’d show you, but I’m too old, I’m too tired, I’m too freakin’ insane. If I were half the primate I was five years ago, I’d take a flamethrower to the place! Out of order? Who the hell do you think you’re talkin’ to? I’ve been around, you know–
Scent of a woman, right?
Yeah. Like my Pacino? Whoo-ah. Hah!
Seriously though, flamethrower IS one option. If you’ve got a problem with a whole system, fixing it is often harder than razing it to the ground and starting again.
Still, you may have some attachment to your quaint parliamentary “democracy”, and wish to update it for the new millennium. Have you thought about abolishing political parties and forcing the unaffiliated delegates (MPs, in your case) to vote in a Prime Minister and ruling cabinet?
Or you could go the route of Planet Maxicon, where the elected delegates fight it out with whiffle bats in the House of Pain, and the Last Politician Standing becomes First Minister. Do you know how long it takes to beat someone into unconsciousness with a whiffle bat? Planet Maxicon is famous for governments with serious political will. They get things done!
Then again, perhaps you could have some kind of referendum or plebiscite or something that convenes a new kind of government, but I think you should go with the whiffle bats.
Either that or invite me to become Canada’s new ruling chimp.
I mean, it’s not like you could do better.
This is a team event that asks the question: how far can you fling a religious person? Though many of the “fling team” members will be from Falun Gong, don’t let the event fool you — the Chinese government will fling other religious people too, including Tibetan Buddhists, Muslim Uighurs, and underground Protestants and Catholics. According to the Beijing Olympic committee’s write-up, the Falun Gong seem to have the best aerodynamic properties. Still, they used Tibetan Buddhist Yingying in this illustration. (You will notice the trebuchet in the bottom right corner of the illustration — originally they tried to fling Falun Gong with massive cords of surgical tubing, but they could not get enough lift, and there was no splat factor, which is an important part of the scoring.)
Welcome to the Carnival of Satire at The Skwib. Wow, what a turnaround. After #8, we thought that maybe there wasn’t enough satire to sustain a carnival. As usual, we were wrong. We hope this robust COS makes it an extra-happy Thanksgiving to all of you south of the 49th!