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The Carnival of Satire (#25)

By on March 16, 2006 in Carnival of Satire

the carnival of satireWe have a lively Carnival this week, all from submissions, nothing presented by Thag and the results of his “digging stick”. Enjoy!

BiBi Cambridge at BiBi Cambridge; Baseless Accusations has a post not to be missed in The ‘C’ Word. Hope to “see you next Thursday” BiBi!

In a related post, Ahistoricality, at The Weblog, has found a piece of bonefide satire with this Proposed New Logo for the Republican Party.

Tommy at Striving For Average takes flight with his funny take on Bird Hunting.

Elisson at Blog d’Elisson has a heart-warming tale about Mr. Kinky.

Aloysius at catymology has some research for the Phrase Freak to consider in All your snowclones are belong to us (TM).

Vox Poplar at Vox Poplar is Right About Everything & Don’t You Forget It! does a turn as Dante with Slobo is No Mo (Overheard in Hell).

And someplace else, it’s slightly colder. Justin Feng at Pererro presents Hail!

Mr. Right at The Right Place puts the question to rest. Bush is definitely Hitler. Continue Reading →

We can’t even really satirize this stuff

By on March 14, 2006 in But is it art?, General Skwib

We’re not sure if Ananova is to be taken seriously or not. Quite often the stories there are reported elsewhere, and earlier, from other more “believable’ news sources. Here are a couple of “quirky” stories from the news organ in question that struck our fancy. While you’re reading the first story, keep in mind that Mark is 1/4 Scots. (And bloody proud of it!)

Angus McNasty attempts to prove every stereotype of Scotsmen in one go

The evidence:

  • Drunk
  • Too cheap to pay for drinks
  • Argumentative
  • Kilt-wearing
  • Kilt lifting
  • Not wearing anything under said garment (regimental)
  • Passes out when arrested.

Amusing details here.

Dog nearly bites off man’s penis

Mark read this story and immediately had a few questions:

  • why do all these freaky stories happen in Germany?
  • what kind of sicko plays with his brother’s Jack Russell while he’s naked, particularly when his brother’s girlfriend is present?
  • what kind of demented woman laughs as her dog savages her in-law’s private parts?

Gory details here.

More satire later. Promise.

Cowboy leg and ginger bumping milk (hot)

By on March 13, 2006 in But is it art?

Need a laugh? Go read the excerpts of a (badly hilariously ) translated menu at rahoi.com. This reminded Dr. Tundra of his “lost season” in Thailand, where he was invited at his hotel to: “feel free to use our laundress.”

Warning: menu may contain some references to cannibalism.

We will return to our regularly schedule satire tomorrow.

Ask General Kang: What advice would you have for a leader who has got his country into a war without a plan for winning?

By on March 13, 2006 in Ask General Kang, Monkeys!

Ask General KangHmm, this is a very topical question. I can think of at least a couple of world leaders in this position.

Unfortunately, you’re well and truly fracked, as they say on the flight deck of the Galactica. (Which is a great TV show, but totally implausible. I mean what kind of intergalactic fleet of cyborg oppression doesn’t have plasma weapons? And I’ve yet to see a single tutu. You can’t fight a proper war without tutus.)

But as your ancient sage, Sun Tzu, said: “Victorious warriors win first and then go to war, while defeated warriors go to war first and then seek to win.”

So, you have to plan to win before you even THINK about going to battle. I learned this lesson the hard way when I invaded Edmontovia XIII without planning on how my army of fruit-loving, warm-weather chimps would deal with the harsh cold. Luckily, I did not commit all my forces, and I was able to retreat to fight again another day.

So that would be my advice. Regroup and fight another day. Or you could try slapping some tutus on your soldiers. That always helps morale.

Next time: I’ve just opened an ancient device of great and mysterious power. And my face seems to melting. Any advice?